Requesting: Ban on rape RP, admin transparency, newbie protection
Request: Ban "rape RP," which covers all nonconsensual sexual acts. Nonconsensual sexual acts aren't all just rape; this also includes coerced consent, blackmail, eavesdropping, dubious circumstances, mistaken identity, being drugged or intoxicated, or otherwise unable to make an enthusiastic and informed decision regarding going forward with any and all activities.
Justification 1: Even for players who don't want to be anywhere near it, it's almost impossible to avoid. Due to the nature of the game, word extends as far as people hearing about the event after the fact, which, if it's RP-related, could mean your entire faction.
Justification 2: People with disabilities are incredibly more likely to be victims, as well as be victimized more frequently than other victims. MUDs in particular provide an experience that can be enjoyed by blind and visually-impaired people. Therefore Starmourn's playerbase is likely to contain more victims than other online games.
Lesser Compromise: Clear and easily accessible content warning given to all players detailing that rape RP is allowed. If you're not willing to do a diligent warning like this, you should probably ban rape RP outright. Take a stance one way or the other.
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Request: A monthly report to verify that sexual offenders are being held responsible for their actions.
Justification: Unless we know that offenders are being dealt with appropriately and aren't being allowed to continue harassment for the sake of profits from whales, we can't maintain trust that these ISSUEs are being handled appropriately. Nothing fancy, just a short blurb to show that the admins are keeping the game safe. Like this:
Harassment ISSUEs: #
Repeat offenders: #
Bans for harassment: #
Lesser Compromise: A bimonthly or quarterly report.
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Request: A two-week protection period for new characters, in which they are not allowed to be propoitioned for sex, flirting, or romance. (New characters may still make the first move.) This should come with in-game anti-harassment training, that requires players to understand how to avoid causing harassment issues and how to report harassment issues.
Justification: New players should be able to enjoy Starmourn without being targeted right away for sex, flirting, or romance. Let them enjoy the game without enduring cold-call solicitation. There's little way to differentiate between a total Starmourn newbie (or IRE newbie, or MUD newbie). Thus it should be the player of the new character who decides when such activities may begin. This will result in more players staying.
Lesser Compromise: At the very least, in-game anti-harassment training, It's clear that current training is inadequate based on what's happening right now in Starmourn.
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It is my hope that these improvements will make for a more enjoyable experience for all.
Thank you.
Justification 1: Even for players who don't want to be anywhere near it, it's almost impossible to avoid. Due to the nature of the game, word extends as far as people hearing about the event after the fact, which, if it's RP-related, could mean your entire faction.
Justification 2: People with disabilities are incredibly more likely to be victims, as well as be victimized more frequently than other victims. MUDs in particular provide an experience that can be enjoyed by blind and visually-impaired people. Therefore Starmourn's playerbase is likely to contain more victims than other online games.
Lesser Compromise: Clear and easily accessible content warning given to all players detailing that rape RP is allowed. If you're not willing to do a diligent warning like this, you should probably ban rape RP outright. Take a stance one way or the other.
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Request: A monthly report to verify that sexual offenders are being held responsible for their actions.
Justification: Unless we know that offenders are being dealt with appropriately and aren't being allowed to continue harassment for the sake of profits from whales, we can't maintain trust that these ISSUEs are being handled appropriately. Nothing fancy, just a short blurb to show that the admins are keeping the game safe. Like this:
Harassment ISSUEs: #
Repeat offenders: #
Bans for harassment: #
Lesser Compromise: A bimonthly or quarterly report.
===
Request: A two-week protection period for new characters, in which they are not allowed to be propoitioned for sex, flirting, or romance. (New characters may still make the first move.) This should come with in-game anti-harassment training, that requires players to understand how to avoid causing harassment issues and how to report harassment issues.
Justification: New players should be able to enjoy Starmourn without being targeted right away for sex, flirting, or romance. Let them enjoy the game without enduring cold-call solicitation. There's little way to differentiate between a total Starmourn newbie (or IRE newbie, or MUD newbie). Thus it should be the player of the new character who decides when such activities may begin. This will result in more players staying.
Lesser Compromise: At the very least, in-game anti-harassment training, It's clear that current training is inadequate based on what's happening right now in Starmourn.
===
It is my hope that these improvements will make for a more enjoyable experience for all.
Thank you.
2
Comments
Also, the only muds that I know of that have to explicitly describe exactly what types of sexual roleplay are and are not allowed are games that are either made for or highly emphasize sexual roleplay.
What makes more sense is to simply put "any rp that you are not comfortable with is banned". You're going to have to make all rp and pk consent only though because I am quite sure that some people are not comfortable with having someone tie them up and shove a grenade down their throat. That is a skill hard coded into the game. If you draw hard lines in the sand for one sub-group, you better draw them for everyone.
Common sense says that no one is required to participate in any rp they do not want to. If that means not playing the game, so be it.
Now, don't think I am justifying rape at all. I am not. I am trying to advocate against putting so much emphasis on one evil that the perception becomes that Starmourn is some sort of haven for those types of people.
It certainly is NOT.
1. Clarify HELP HARASSMENT. I've submitted a HELPMOD for part of it, but the question of "At what point can you still issue?" is important and hazy. A lot of times, when you're in the moment it's difficult to feel if it's just you, if it's something to just IGNORE, or if it is a policy violation. Kneejerk issuing can feel frivolous, however legitimate it really is. When you get more breathing room after and can look back at a situation, it's easy to feel that it's too late to report because things have moved on.
2. I know this will be unpopular, but: Recognize that this is not a PG13 game, and with that comes some trade offs. It isn't a safe space. Sometimes you have to be the one that qq's for a time. There are graphic themes in the game, character back stories, etc. Graphic crossing the spectrum of a war-torn, drug and flesh-trafficking space sector.
3. In light of the above, readdress a sense of LanguageRules. Cursing isn't banned, but some themes are better discussed in private. Using graphic content to harass or shock the larger community could come up as a Harassment infringement. But, harassment does not only equal rape. And where you draw the line of community consequence and accountability is tricky (and can shift the question of: who are you protecting?).
"Do not issue frivolously, especially for harassment. Recall the
So it's up to the victim to guess at the admin's level of frivolity? What's a victim supposed to think? That the admins care about victims? Or just that the admins don't want you to annoy them with a sexual harassment issue?
I wish I had never read HELP HARASSMENT. It's so victim-blamey.
As I said in the other thread: there's a lot of reasons why someone clams up. You don't want to make it A Thing, you just want it to stop and leave you alone. You don't want to be seen as overly dramatic. You don't want people to think that you're just a hypersensitive whiner, despite the reality of what you're dealing with - no one likes an alarmist and you want to avoid that. You don't want to upset the person's friends, especially when they have clout. You don't want it to perpetuate OOCly, get messages from others trying to mediate (which does happen), or get taken to forums. Issuing, you don't want to put yourself out there and have it in your record, or have that confrontation with them. Things easily perpetuate because those involved don't enjoy conflict and try to avoid it, or get wound up in the feelings and indecision and have trouble breaking out of that cycle to get a breath of air and act. This happens in person, and in the web, where anonymity poses another challenge to overcome.
Having HELP HARASSMENT be clearer for how to approach these murky bad-feels would be helpful, both for players and for the Team Upstairs to have the information they need to make a judgement call on Issues.
@Indecision — Regarding your upset at the 'frivolous issues' warning. As someone who has both staffed games and, very recently, been the recipient of a host of frivolous issues by a particular crew of miscreants, let me tell you that players really are a whiny bunch. Not all harassment issues are sexual harassment related. As @Yalau points out, it could be something as trivial as 'this person told me to shut up, I feel abused!' Understand that any tool in the game that can be perceived as conceivably 'hurting' someone can and will be weaponised. Some people think that issuing someone will automatically get that person banned, and that if they can find any shred of evidence that a person once said something mean to them, or if they issue then enough times successfully, admin will, eventually, cave and ban that person. This is what is meant by a frivolous issue. To assume that every person using this system will be doing so in good faith is, frankly, naive.
@BeepBoop — Evidently we know some very different adults! I'm afraid I've known (and worked for!) people in their 50s and upwards who still haven't quite wrapped their minds around what is and isn't harassment.
Clear guidelines and better communication can never hurt. Aversion to communication is, frankly, what causes problems in the first place.
I am overwhelmingly in support of accessible statistics on what gets done about harassment issues, particularly sexual harassment issues. It would give me a lot more confidence in the game staff's willingness and ability to take such matters seriously.
— Oscar Wilde
"I'll take care of it, Luke said. And because he said it instead of her, I knew he meant kill. That is what you have to do before you kill, I thought. You have to create an it, where none was before."
— Margaret Atwood
Again, it comes down to common sense. If you do not want to participate in a type of rp there is a command to ignore the person as well as issues that will help to escalate the situation.
I will note that as long as I have been involved with IRE muds I can tell you that the staff DO take these issues seriously but they will not and should not take the stance of "guilty until proven innocent." They will do their due diligence in order to support the community and do what they feel is best for the game.
That very well may not line up with exactly what YOU think should be done.
EDIT: Some clarification.
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Many people in this thread are like, "just IGNORE, or if necessary ISSUE, and move on," and to that I say that you're missing the point. You're missing the point that despite your confidence on how to resolve harassment issues, we're still losing players because of harassment.
Something needs to be done to improve Starmourn, and it's not the victims' responsibility to improve it: they'll just leave and never come back.
The problem is real, and your solutions aren't working.
— Oscar Wilde
"I'll take care of it, Luke said. And because he said it instead of her, I knew he meant kill. That is what you have to do before you kill, I thought. You have to create an it, where none was before."
— Margaret Atwood
No, it is not the victims' responsibility to improve it. As fellow players, if we become aware of such cases, we should offer our support to the affected players and perhaps even ISSUE it ourselves if we don't think they want to do it. If we see people in our social circles taking part in what could be construed as harassment, we should let them know that this sort of behaviour is unacceptable.
I am just vehemently against painting the whole game and playerbase as such an unsafe space that we need to give new players warnings that essentially say "harassment exists in this game and this is how to deal with it", because that is surely going to drive way more people off before they even get anywhere near interacting with another person. 99% of people here are great. Let's not let a few rotten eggs spoil it for everyone else.
What do I do if I'm being harassed?
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Harassment is something we take very seriously, and it is our expectation that you do too. If
someone is harassing you, please first consider these guidelines:
You are not obligated to stay in RP or PvP situations that make you
uncomfortable. Know your boundaries and hold to them.
If someone is pushing a scenario you do not want (flirtation, sexual,
violence, politics, etc), clearly state that you want them to stop,
and leave.
If they persist after you have drawn your line, put them on IGNORE.
It does not matter if they are a friend, enemy, leader in your
organization: Their standing does not entitle them to your time.
If someone is annoying you, or you are having a bad day and they
are pushing your buttons, that's what IGNORE is for. This may
be all you need to do to solve your problem.
If their conduct was predatory, Issue them, or yourself if you are
uncomfortable. Help document a pattern to help the administration.
Do not issue frivolously, especially for harassment. Recall the
story of the boy who cried wolf, or look it up if you're not
acquainted with Aesop's works.
Do not abuse our willingness to help victims of harassment by
trying to get out of situations you have put yourself into,
especially when it comes to PK.
This is a good start. More still needs to be done to retain players. Ideally, it would be great if IRE didn't find it acceptable that they lose even one player due to being harassed.
This isn't victim blaming at all and it is apparent to me that they very much do care but have faced mounds of frivolous issues over the last two decades or more that IRE has been operating.
In my opinion, this is a crystal clear and realistic progression for self care in this game.
I was issued for harassing someone having barely spoken to them once, ever, bizarrely. Have to admit that the second to last paragraph applies to some of my actions in the past as well.
Edit: Oh, well, considering what I've heard and read since I've posted this... Pffft.
Some of the comments on the thread this came from made me double-take quite a bit.
Final note: For the record, men can play female characters and women can play male characters, and sometimes female characters who are female in real life can be pushy against female characters. I know that from my own experiences. I have to admit I cringed at some of the rhetoric of the most verbal people who are involved in this absolute farce, and am pretty sure this entire little situation was about something a bit more shady and toxic than the pretence of trying to protect the people actually affected by this.
Bring on people trying to romance the trees and non-binary characters.
I know we've lost numbers, but it sure isn't from harassment that a few have left - whether permanent or temporarily until certain things are fixed / happen or their RL calms down.
Bad eggs have been publicly identified and we were excoriated for naming them, including by you.
IC recourse was attempted and only made people mad. Issue they say, balderdash I say, it accomplished nothing.
I've quit Starmourn and took a handful of players with me. We left specifically because of this.
You and everyone else who accused people of lying over recent events are culpable. We tried to do shit and the community called us liars and accused us of doing it for the sake of 'drumming up IC drama' and 'political gain'. Rotate on it.
It's 2019 and women should not have to deal with sexual harassment in gaming. Period. Stop shielding and excusing bad actors, stop handwaving it as 'flirting', stop blaming the affected for not speaking up for themselves or going through proper channels, because we went through every channel and there was an excuse around every corner for why this channel is the wrong one.
All you people have is deflections and 0 solutions.
— Oscar Wilde
"I'll take care of it, Luke said. And because he said it instead of her, I knew he meant kill. That is what you have to do before you kill, I thought. You have to create an it, where none was before."
— Margaret Atwood
Edit: To expand on this, this was inevitable, and Starmourn was always going to be nothing but a soapbox for her grievances with the real world.
Particularly looking at logs like this:
(Celestine): K says, "I am angry at the lack of consideration women's voices are being given in this situation. I realize that the implicit bias is to tell angry women to shut up. Hence, by redirecting the conversation you are telling women that they are not welcome in the Celestine Ascendancy. I am now going to disengage from this conversation because it is not what I expected to hear from my fellow citizens."
(Celestine): Log Provider says, "You 'men' are repulsive."
I'd say bye-bye and be waving happily, but I already left because of people like you who wanted to play little mind games OOC, among other things.
There's a reason we have NPC sex slaves and not a coded PC sex slavery system.
— Oscar Wilde
"I'll take care of it, Luke said. And because he said it instead of her, I knew he meant kill. That is what you have to do before you kill, I thought. You have to create an it, where none was before."
— Margaret Atwood
But I believe there is no more reason to fling insults and such. This thread might have outlived its usefulness in my opinion.
I'm out. Take care.
Edit: You could hire Sorrow Company to come handle those type of situations. I can assure you we would take care of the problem. Contact the Director Nykara for more info. As always, choose Sorrow to take care of the problems that you can't