Best Of

You know I have sat here debating on how to comment this, yet the main perpetrator repeatedly absolves themselves and continues playing victim when people call them on it. I won't name names, but you know who you are and I suggest you stop and really re-evaluate your personal life if you get joy from making this much drama. I am severely disappointed in this and even more so you use the pretense of fighting for the victims when it is forcibly crammed down their throats in multiple news posts...I don't have anything further to say other than you seriously need to grow up, see a therapist, get some medications, something to help you because evidently what you're doing now is singlehandedly the most awful thing you can do to people in that situation.

These are topics which should be handled with care. Because at the end of the day we are all coming here to play a game, maybe PvP a bit here and there, throw emotes to RP with people, post something related to our IC roles etc. The primary drive is to have fun. Should be to have fun. Trying to make such a heavy topic as the center of any political IC discussion is not fun. Does not promote fun. It leaves a bitter taste and damages the sanity of people who have nothing to do with any kind of harassment. 

This does not mean bad IC actors should not be handled. Let me go with the video provided by @Revelin . Kudos for sharing that.

IRE games provide several ways to say a big resounding "NO!" to those who wish to make you drink tea against your consent. Some of them are IC, in that way you take the bad actor and talk it through, use IC deterrents and expect a resolution. Some leaders do it right, some muck it up. This can happen in any game. Though before this happens at all, if you do not like a cup of tea thrown your way? It is easy to put their tea offers on IGNORE. Yes it is not pleasant for a new player to get a tea offer they might not be comfortable with, every person has differing levels of sensitivity on IC interactions after all. That is a bad first impression, but not something that cannot be dealt with through proper channels. 

And if something really shitty happens on physically triggering level, ISSUES will almost always smash that teapot on the heads of whom offered you tea forcefully.

Any kind of OOC listing and trying to sway people OOCly against those people (where they did not meet and form their opinion at all) is an attempt at vigilante justice. It is not healthy for the game, for the rehabilition of any IC actor and the people who has nothing to do with that kind of thing. 

If you feel in any way uncomfortable with another player regardless of what gender you are: Just cut communications with them, if they continue harassment, there is an almighty up there who will shut them down for good. 

My two marks on this topic.

I agree with the OP: if someone is harassing you, ISSUE THEM. Harassment is not an issue that players are equipped to handle - players can't read the logs, don't see all of the reports, don't know which people are who's alts and most importantly, can't ban people from the game. The admins can do all of that and more. If someone is sexually harassing someone, the admins are the people who can and should do something about it.

I must be the worst female ever but... please don't forget that there are other genders out there - whether IRL or through the character they portray. It's not just females who are sexually harassed. Others - of all genders - might not be as forthcoming of their experiences as others would be. It infuriates me to no end to see above that there should be a blacklist created and sent around to females only -- because none of those creeps on your list might also show interest in another gender, right? 

#MeToo

I've yet to be harassed on Starmourn, thankfully.

Can we have rules as strict as Sindome's rules please?

https://www.sindome.org/bgbb/game-discussion/game-problems/moosex-n-you-338/

Notably:

"If someone requests you cease sexual roleplay with them under ANY circumstances, you are to cease it, without question. Failure to do so will result in punitive action with possible loss of your account.

Do not use accusations of sexual misconduct to slander another character in game, as it becomes an unavoidable in character topic for those who do not wish to engage in roleplay of that nature."

"you should never engage in rape RP, including both perpetration and discussion, in any location, over SIC, on the grid, or on OOC Channels. It does not matter if all directly involved have given their consent to the RP because its impossible to obtain OOC consent of everyone (players & admin) who may witness, hear discussion of, or be affected by the RP itself."

---

I would also like to add some protection for new players being targeted. Like "do not make any sexual or romantic advances towards characters that are less than two weeks old or else you lose your account."

We are not fresh meat. We are players who should not have to endure solicitation until we're broken down and quit.

"Don't have a cow; I only asked once," said the 100th person to ask.

Also, as a wake-up call to all players:

- People with disabilities are incredibly more likely to be victims, as well as be victimized more frequently than other victims.

- MUDs in particular provide an experience that can be enjoyed by blind and visually-impaired people.

Therefore Starmourn's playerbase is likely to contain more victims than other online games.

So just...remind yourself of that the next time you approach someone. Be conscious of that. Please.

Kestrel said:

[snipped]

Politely: Go flakk yourself. The admins do not see each issue without context. Our overlords are smarter than that. If someone is making an effort to harass several other players, that's easy to see, easy to deal with. Issue the flakker and get them the hell out of the game. Don't use it as a centerpoint for gigantic IC drama, as that's not healthy for anyone - and will drive away as many people as you are trying to keep: because they are victims themselves, because they do not find that kind of drama engaging or tasteful, or because they support those victims and refuse to take part in forcing them unnecessarily to relive their trauma in what is SUPPOSED to be an escape.

Hi. 

Sexual assault survivor here. 

Please, for the love of all things holy and my sanity, if you are being actually harassed in game, remove yourself from the individual at fault and issue them if it's a big enough problem. Harassment is against the rules and it will be handled. The admin can review logs and determine what happened and handle it accordingly. 

Please do not make it the center of a political discussion. 

I cannot begin to explain how deeply frustrating it is to see these things be made a political football for dramatic effect as someone who didn't have the option to QQ out of my abuse. There is never a reason you should be forced to endure real abuse in a text game. Have some common decency for the people around you who have actual trauma related to this kind of behavior. 

Thanks.